Ears or Tails
by Honey Fujioka
Summary: Watanuki is stuck, AGAIN, with the damned archer, BANE of his existence, on a mission. Where? To the carnival? For what? Cat ears? Why? Because Yuuko is a demon? But then Watanuki discovers a whole new world that will change his destiny forever.
1. Chapter 1

EARS OR TAILS

By: Tamaru Herunta

"Why, in all that is hitsuzen, am I, the great Watanuki-sama, stuck with you?" Watanuki yelled, causing his companion to plug his ears as the boy continued to rant exceptionally loud.

Watanuki Kimihiro was by no means an ordinary person. He could see spirits—and even better, attract them, which is why on this very day, this dark, dark day, Watanuki is accompanied by none other than Doumeki Shizuka, archer extraordinaire, spiritually-blessed-to-not-see-spirits-and-have-purification-powers-that-are-oh-so-unfair jerk, high school heart throb, stoic-mc-stoic-pants—-also known as big, expressionless jerk. Was it mentioned that he was a jerk? Watanuki reminds you: Doumeki is a jerk. Yuuko would like to add that Watanuki only thinks that way because he secretly likes Doumeki. Watanuki would like to remind his boss that it was just yesterday that her alcohol was returned to her. Yuuko would like to drink sake now. Black Mokona would like to mock Watanuki now, saying something along the lines of "Pupupu, Watanuki spelled like April Fool's Watanuki!" Watanuki would like to kill the stupid creature thing.

On with the story—

Black Mokona would like to add that he is not a stupid creature thing, and that Watanuki is actually the weird creature thing—who else moves their arms like a rabid monkey?

Back to the—

Watanuki would like to stuff Black Mokona into a satchel, tie the satchel with chains, lock the chains, burn the key out of existence, throw the satchel into a bottomless river, and watch as it slowly sinks. Black Mokona would like to add that Mokona is able to swim. Watanuki would like to tell everyone to shut up so they could get on with the story. Oh, and he does not like Doumeki. Stupid jerk.

"Oi."

"MY NAME IS NOT OI! Are you so completely inept at remembering names?" Watanuki huffed, fists clenched in anger.

"Oi."

"GAH! WHAT? WHAT IS IT THAT IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU CANNOT PROPERLY USE MY NAME?"

"We're here."

Watanuki turned around and noticed two things: first, that Doumeki was right—they had arrived, and oh, what a place to arrive at! It looked like a carnival, and on closer inspection, it _was_ a carnival, complete with roller coasters, a Ferris Wheel (Watanuki would like to comment that he would rather enjoy riding the Ferris Wheel with Himawari-chan and not lame Doumeki. Doumeki would like to point out that he wouldn't be able to ride with her, as she had student council work to do. Watanuki would like to yell at Doumeki for being such an idiotic jerk, but Doumeki's ears are plugged), and all sorts of entertaining rides and things. Secondly, he noticed that he was at the carnival. With Doumeki. Alone. Trying to find a pair of cat ears for Yuuko. In this large, large theme park. ALONE WITH DOUMEKI!

Ah, Watanuki thought, I think I could kill myself now. Yes, what a wonderful idea! But wait, what about Himawari-chan? I MUST LIVE FOR HER! HIMAWARI-CHAN, YOU HAVE SAVED ME ONCE MORE!

"Oi."

"IS THAT THE ONLY WORD IN YOUR VOCABULARY?"—he noticed Doumeki walking away—"DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

"Hi, how may I—Oh! Watanuki-san, Doumeki-san!"

"Ah! Onagi-san! What are you doing here?" Watanuki asked, completely ignoring the towering boy next to him.

"I decided to work here! My sister got me the job!" she explained happily, causing the bespectacled boy to smile.

"That's great!" he replied whole-heartedly. He was glad the girl could move on after the incident with the power of words.

"So, what are you two doing here?" Her smile lost some of its shine as Watanuki deflated, a frown crossing his pretty features.

"I've something to do for Yuuko (damn witch). We're looking for something in this park (damn cat ears). It shouldn't take us too long (damn Doumeki!)," he answered, depressed that he had to spend another school night with Doumeki to find some stupid cat ears—which Yuuko will most likely just stuff them in that dusty treasure room of hers, and no one will see it until one day, he has to clean the room (again) and happen to stumble upon them, upon which something terrible will surely happen...again.

"Ah! So you need two tickets, right? Here, you can have them for free!"

"N-No, we can't! DOUMEKI, I JUST SAID WE CAN'T!" Watanuki yelled as Doumeki took the tickets.

"Oh, don't bother! Consider it thanks for helping me!"

Walking away after profusely thanking the girl, Doumeki found himself staring at a very irate Watanuki who muttered strange things under his breath that not even he could hear.

"Oi."

"Why? Why can't you ever say my name?"

"What exactly are we looking for?"

Doumeki watched amusedly as Watanuki slightly flushed and answered, "It's, uhh...mumblemumble."

"What?"

"IT'S CAT EARS, ALRIGHT?" Watanuki yelled, irritated. What an embarrassing thing to look for! The cat ears they were supposed to find reminded him, strangely enough, of the ones Yuuko had given him when he and Doumeki had gone against Kokkiri-san—bad sign, bad sign...

"Hn."

"ARE YOU SO COMPLETELY UNABASHED AT THESE INANE ITEMS WE'RE TOLD TO RETREIVE BY YUUKO?"

"...Hn."

"GodDAMMIT! I hate being with you! I'm tired of monosyllables! Please! Someone give the boy vocal chords and a brain to construct proper sentences that don't include 'hn'!" Watanuki cried to the heavens, but they only replied with darkening skies, as if to say, 'Stop yelling at us, we're not going to help you. Solve your own problems, and you're scaring the kids'.

"You made the sky angry," Doumeki said with a smug grin.

"Shut up!" Watanuki cried. All of hitsuzen seemed to be out to get him. "Let's just find a place to hide from the rain."

"Hn."

"ARGH!" Watanuki's cry resounded through the park as he and Doumeki rushed to a building, the now-pouring rain obscuring the name of the structure. Inside, Watanuki leaned on his knees to catch his breath, cursing Doumeki for looking as if he hadn't run the long distance just to find a building and not a ride. When Watanuki stopped panting, he stood and surveyed the room. It was the mirrour place, where all the mirrours made you look long, or fat, or whatever. (Watanuki wants to comment that he didn't look into the mirrours because the last time he was at a carnival and went to the mirrour house, he had seen a spirit in place of him [Yuuko's face]. Yuuko caught the last comment and demands more alcohol from Watanuki. Watanuki complains.]

"What did Yuuko say to do?" Doumeki asked, staring into one of the mirrours that made him taller.

"Oh my fu—Were you _not_ there when Yuuko told us what to do? I'm going to kill you, and I will finally be rid of the most irritating thing in my life. What a wonderful thought!" Watanuki cried, clasping his hands together in hope. When he turned, Doumeki was still there, causing him to frown. "Well, damn."

Doumeki lifted an eyebrow and turned away.

Watanuki scowled and sighed. "I'm just going to get this over with. She said to look through one of the mirrours, but which damn mirrour am I supposed to look through?"

Exasperated, and more than a little cautious, lest there be a repeat of seeing Yuuko's face on his body (what a nightmare), he looked through the first few, eyebrows knitting further and further in irritation the longer nothing happened.

Finally stopping at the last mirrour, he grabbed his hair in frustration.

"None of them have it! What, am I supposed to grab it or something?"

It was then that he conveniently saw it out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he was met with gold. Frowning, he looked around.

"It was just there…"

Watanuki looked in the mirrour again, and once again saw it out of the corner of his eye. Turning again, and finding nothing, he growled.

"What is going on?" he shouted, lifting his arms in anger. "Every time I look at the damn mirrour, it's just out of my eyesight!"

"Maybe it's switching mirrours?"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Wait, over your shoulder!"

Doumeki looked over his shoulder and saw nothing.

"Gah! Can't you even see it through the eye? No, I thought not." Watanuki walked over to Doumeki and moved him out of the way, watching as the cat ears were somehow slipped into his pocket. Before he could reach in to see if it was actually there, he watched as Doumeki came up to him. Turning, he said, "What do you want?"

But Doumeki hadn't moved from his original position. He raised an eyebrow.

Scowling, he turned back. The mirrour showed Doumeki stood directly behind him, as if leaning against his back. Frowning, he watched as the mirrour Doumeki brought his hands around him, slipping his hands underneath his uniform.

Watanuki's face turned bright red despite himself.

"Do you see a spirit?"

Jumping from hearing the archer right behind him, he collided into the mirrour, causing it to fall. Watanuki flinched as it hit the ground, but for some strange, blissful reason, it didn't break.

Watanuki turned his back to Doumeki to straighten the mirrour that had fallen, and when he spun back, he saw Doumeki stare curiously at the cat ears before turning back up to him.

"Uhh, Doumeki, what're you-?"

Doumeki slipped the ears onto Watanuki's head. A cliché flash of smoke appeared, and what came out made his eyes widen in surprise.

"Mya?"

The only thing Doumeki could think of went along the lines of 'Cute', 'Is that all he has?', and 'I wonder if they're soft.'

"W-Wait, what are these? WHAT IS THIS? DOU-ME-KI!"

A/N: Ehhhhh? Ehhhhh? So? ...GAH. Whoever reads this has lost the GAME. The GAME, you say? The GAME. GAH. Enjoy.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER II

"So, what happened next?

Watanuki knew he was in hell. Well, he may be exaggerating, but when it came to Yuuko, you could never tell. He currently sat in front of his boss, hands clenched against his pants, tail—yes, that's right—tail, swishing against the tatami mats. To make it all better, Doumeki was there as well, witnessing his humiliation.

"After Doumeki (damn you) put the c-c-cat ears on"—Watanuki flushed—"there was this...flash of smoke"—he waved his hand in the air—"and when I noticed them, we came straight here."

"You know, Watanuki..." Yuuko began, rubbing her chin in thought. Watanuki gulped. The tone of her voice made his hackles rise (Watanuki would like to state that that was not a pun). "...You're really cute with cat ears~!"

Watanuki face-planted.

"Isn't that right, Doumeki? And that tail! Ooh, I just want to eat you up!" Yuuko giggled, clapping her hands in enjoyment.

"YUUKO!"

"Aah," Doumeki agreed, causing Watanuki to whip towards him so fast, the archer had no time to cover his ears.

"DON'T YOU AGREE WITH HER, JERK! YUUKO, WHY IS HE EVEN HERE? WHY DO I HAVE CAT FEATURES? WHY ARE YOU STILL GIGGLING?"

"Because, dear Watanuki-chan"—Watanuki interrupted with a 'Don't call me –chan!'—"this is hitsuzen, and oh, how I love hitsuzen sometimes!"

"H-Hitsuzen? How does _this_"—he pointed to his ears—"have anything to do with hitsuzen?"

"It was meant to happen! Now!" Yuuko clapped her hands again. "You'll have to stay at Doumeki's house!"

"What? _WHY_?" he asked incredulously. He flinched back at the almost-predatory look Yuuko gave him.

"Because, Watanuki, you can't be seen in public with cat appendages, now can you?" Watanuki flinched again. "See? So! Stay with Doumeki, and you're all good!"

"But how does staying with Doumeki help at all? I can just stay in my apartment!"

"Ah, but how will you get food to feed yourself?" Watanuki flinched once more. (Watanuki would like to remind you that he does not have a twitch or some sort of physical disorder!)

"All teasing aside, this is serious. You'll have to go to _them_ to be rid of those cat ears and tail," Yuuko said, leaning back in her chair. Watanuki gulped.

"Who's 'them'?" Watanuki asked hesitantly, hands fisted in his yukata. Being at Doumeki's shrine helped little in dissipating his nervousness.

"'They' are spirit cat people, and it was one of their kind who made those cat ears. It's normally for children, but when it comes into possession of someone with spiritual power, it attaches itself to them. You'll have to go to the original maker to have it taken off," Yuuko explained, a slow, Cheshire-like grin making its way across her face.

"W-What?"

"There's a catch, of course. In their world, they have different rules, and one of them requires you to have an owner." Her grin widened.

"What?" Watanuki thought a moment before catching Yuuko's smug look at Doumeki. "Oh no. No, no, no, no, NO."

"Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Well, technically, he's already you're owner,"-Watanuki cried, "WHAT?", grabbing his hair in fistfuls-"because he's the one who put those ears on you in the first place. However, you still have to have this."

She pulled out a gold collar and tossed it to Doumeki, who easily caught it with a raised eyebrow. "Since you're now his owner, it has to be you who puts it on him. He can take it off if he wants to, but it's required in their world. If you don't wear it, Watanuki," she said seriously, looking at the Seer to make sure it was imprinted in him, "anyone can take you, so be careful."

Blushing furiously with a scowl on his face, Watanuki glared at Yuuko. "All of this is going on my debt, isn't it?"

"Yep!" Yuuko grinned, Mokona and the girls choosing that exact moment to fall in from listening from the door, giggling.

"On your debt! On your debt!" the three giggled from the floor.

Watanuki fell into a sobbing heap as the two soulless girls and Mokona danced around the room, shouting, "On your debt, on your debt!" over and over, and Yuuko just sat giggling.

"How are we going to get there?" Doumeki asked, breaking the mood.

Yuuko grinned smugly, and the next thing the boys knew, they were on the ground, a very hard, cement-y ground. Groaning, Watanuki raised himself to a sitting position, holding and shaking his head in pain.

"Errrgghhhh, what happened?"

Doumeki stood, brushing dust off his uniform.

"Hn."

"DON'T 'HN' ME, YOU-YOU...YOU!"

"Quiet. People are staring."

Watanuki shut his mouth immediately, standing and awkwardly brushing his uniform. He looked at his surroundings more closely and gasped. Tall buildings surrounded them, and it could have been mistaken for the city where they lived, but there was no way the people here could have been normal. Like Watanuki, the vast majourity of them adorned cat appendages. However, unlike Watanuki, they wore collars, and when Doumeki observed this, he pulled the gold collar from his pocket and hurriedly placed it around the Seer's neck before he could protest.

"O-oi! What was that-oh...THAT DOESN'T MEAN I ALLOW IT!" Watanuki embarrassedly cried, turning to hide his flaming face. Now, with the collar around his neck, it felt...official, that Doumeki owned him.

_Ick! What kind of thought is that?_

"Where did Yuuko say to go?" Doumeki asked, turning his head this way and that as if that would give him his answer.

"I don't know! You were there! Damn, if I knew this was already going on my tab earlier, I would've asked!" Watanuki sighed. "I guess we'll just have to go around and ask."

Doumeki started to walk off.

"Hey! I DIDN'T MEAN NOW!"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: What the hell, there were so many story alerts and crap on this story! It's not even that good! Whatever, I guess. After I read all those wonderful messages/reviews and story alerts/favourites, I had to write more! How could I not? Thanks, guys. ~rolls eyes_

_P.S. I fixed some grammar stuff (I'm such a grammar nazi, I can't believe I made the mistakes in the first place, and forgot to look over the stupid chapters to fix them!) _

_So. I absolutely hate the way the first two chapters went. Someone reviewed a few mix ups (the whole 'Being at Doumeki's shrine did little to blah, blah'. That made no sense, so that was omitted.) From now on, I am going to endeavour to both entertain you and satisfy myself with the following chapters. Look forward to intrigue, friendship-cum-love (haha, I love saying that), and cat-like things! Another thing I realized, by the by, was that Yuuko said Watanuki had to stay at Doumeki's shrine, and yet she immediately sent them to this cat-world that I have yet to name. WTH? Anyways, onward and upward…to XXXHolic fandom! _

CHAPTER III:

Somehow, the two of them ended up in front of a lively bar. Watanuki grimaced at the sound of rowdy men and raucous laughter that emitted from the green, terribly painted door. If it wasn't for the feel of his tail flicking back and forth irritably against his legs that reminded him exactly _why_ he was here in the first place, he'd have bolted for the nearest pole to smash his head against it. As it so happens, poor Watanuki had no choice in the matter, as Doumeki led him with a hand on his shoulder toward hell.

A man they had stopped earlier told them of the master ear-maker and how he frequented this place often. Honestly, Watanuki could see no reason for this.

As soon as the door opened, a wave of alcoholic air rushed toward him, causing him to almost gag. This was even worse than when Yuuko drank and the foulest-smelling spirits _combined_.

"Hey, kids aren't allowed in here!" a man shouted from their left. Eyes watering, the Seer turned to find the barkeep barking at some little cat-kids who ran past them, causing the poor boy to jump in Doumeki's direction to get out of the way. Doumeki held his arm to steady him as the kids were chased out of the bar. As the door closed with a thud, the tall barkeep gave the two of them a hard glare before returning to his post behind the bar. Unsure, they made their way over to the man.

"What do you want?"

Watanuki winced at the less-than-handsome man's gravelly voice.

"Master ear-maker," Doumeki answered for him. He snarled, but was unheard over the loud noise.

The barkeep spit to the side. "I don't know who you're talking about."

"Please," Watanuki begged, pressing against the bar, "it's important that we find him."

A glare. "Why?"

"It's…it's complicated, but no less important!"

"I don't know who you're talking about."

Watanuki frowned in disbelief, disbelief that the man on the street had lied.

"Go over there," Doumeki commanded him, pointing to a far wall that was within view, but too far away to overhear a conversation.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Watanuki shouted, outraged. The barkeep stared at him with a raised brow, looking at his collar for a moment. Flushing in resigned anger, he gave a haughty look to his companion before moving to the wall, flinching when someone brushed past or touched his arm.

Reaching the wall with a sigh of relief, Watanuki glared angrily as Doumeki and the barman spoke. His eyes burned so intensely that no one came near. It was just too bad he couldn't appreciate that fact when he was oh so furious at the damned archer. He crossed his arms, his thoughts circling on ways to kill Doumeki.

When he realized that none were plausible in this world, his scowl deepened, and his thoughts turned to Yuuko's earlier conversation. How could this possibly have been hitsuzen?

_She said I would have to stay at that damned Doumeki's shrine, and yet she immediately sent us here. _

Was she developing Alzheimer's? How wonderful for him if she was!

It took him a moment to realize Doumeki's presence, and when he did, he startled.

Watanuki glared at the taller boy, ears flat against his head, his tail flicking with irritation.

"What happened?" he demanded, hands making their way into fists. Doumeki merely raised that damned eyebrow of his and grabbed his arm, man-handling him out of the bar.

"DOUMEKI, DAMMIT, STOP PULLING ME!" he shouted, attempting to wrench his appendage from the most irritating creature in the world. This was, however, clearly impossible because Doumeki was stronger than him (damn him), and everyone surrounding them were too busy watching them with curious stares (damn them, too).

As soon as they were outside the bar, Watanuki was able to rip his arm out of Doumeki's grip, shooting him a nasty glare as he rubbed his wrist, trying to rid himself of the archer's DNA on his lovely skin. (Doumeki would like to think that Watanuki _did_ have very lovely skin, and because he _thought_ that, no one else commented. _Buuuut_, Watanuki _did_ catch the stare sent his way and snarled.)

"Why the hell did you make me leave, you lout?" Watanuki whispered angrily beneath his breath, mindful of the group of cat-girls right in their vicinity. Doumeki blessed him with a side glance (Watanuki says, "What the hell, _blessed_? I am NOT blessed by any action form Doumeki!" Yuuko would like to remind Watanuki of Doumeki's spiritual-repelling powers. Watanuki grumbles), then grabbed the Seer's arm and began to drag him to some unknown location.

"H-HEY! Where are you taking me?" Watanuki shouted (Watanuki would like to remind you readers that kidnapping is a terrible crime, and that he WOULD have screamed bloody murder and pressed charges, but they had to get rid of his cat…_things_…first before he would. Doumeki would like to say something about how it's not really _kid_napping and more like _cat_napping. Yuuko laughs. Watanuki shouts.). He pin-wheeled his arms, hoping to rid himself of Doumeki's tight grip on the neck of his collar, but all that did was make passerby stare in fear. Doumeki stopped.

"Are you going to behave?"

"W-W-W-W-W-WHAT?" Watanuki spluttered. "Did you just say what I thought you just said?" he asked, cupping a hand to his ear as if those words could not _possibly _have been said by Doumeki. "Because you could not _possibly_ have said those words! It's just not possible! I must be hearing things! Me, behave? _You_ should have to behave! Hey, where are you going? DON'T LEAVE ME, DAMMIT!" (Watanuki would like to say that that was not meant in any friend-insinuating manner. He just didn't want any spirits to get too clingy, and more importantly, DOUMEKI WAS BEING RUDE BY LEAVING IN THE MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION! Doumeki grunts in denial.)

As Watanuki chased down his companion (Watanuki again would like interrupt this story by commenting about Doumeki in terrible manner, something about them not being 'companions' and more like 'archrivals where Watanuki is the good guy and Doumeki is the bad, bad, bad guy', but because the authour would like to keep this _somewhat_ PG-13/as-long-as-it's-less-than-M-I-don't-care, it has been omitted), a figure stood in the shadow of a nearby alleyway, watching the two figures silently as they walked away.

_A/N: Ugh, okay. So, now chapter 3 is done! ! I'm surprised I've gotten this far! Longest consecutive piece I've written (not including _Tinker, Tailour, Soldier, Spy_ for Hetalia)! I would like to note the extra exclamations on that last sentence. This is really a big deal. I have a serious problem with finishing fan works—I'll write a piece, think of a later piece and write that, then have no ideas for how to connect them (I have many pieces on my jump drive, MANY, that are this way). Such a(n expletive). BUT! I've gotten this far, so let's keep it going! Sorry, by-the-by, for not updating for SO LONG. It's because I don't have internet, so I have to find alternate sources, blah. And no, the internet is not down; it doesn't need to be renewed. I'VE NEVER HAD INTERNET. Gasp, right? W/e, as long as I can read fanfiction (copy/paste anyone?), I'm fine.) So, see you next time! Ciao._


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER IV:

"Where. The hell. Are we."

This simple, five-word sort-of sentence was said, not as a question, but as a demand, a demand to know what the location of the asker was. However, this simple, _very _simple, question was unanswered because the one being asked didn't think that the question really _needed_ to be answered. Couldn't the teen just _look_ _around him_ or something?

This aggravated the asker very much. It really was a simple question. Didn't he have the right to know where he was? But no, the stupid lug just wasn't capable, it seems, in the art of forming complete sentences. That really was such a shame because he could have the opportunity of having civilized conversations with people (but that would also be terrible because people wouldn't want to talk to _Doumeki_ of all people).

Watanuki frowned, huffed, and crossed his arms in anger, muttering expletives beneath his breath. Doumeki completely ignored his companion as he stopped a moment to look at the street name before turning left.

"Will you just tell me where you're going?" Watanuki cried, attempting to pull at his hair, but his ears were sort of a problem in doing this. "GRAH! I am _so_ done with this! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING?"

Doumeki looked at another street sign, this time turning right, Watanuki at his heels, slumped over.

"I'm so tired of this. I am going to have these stupid cat things forever, and it's all Doumeki's fault," Watanuki complained to himself, even though Doumeki could hear him. "If he hadn't put those ears on me, I'd be fine! I could be with Himawari-chan right now! Ah, how nice!"

As Watanuki's face brightened with the thought, Doumeki told him they'd arrived. And as soon as Watanuki's face had brightened, it darkened.

"…What the hell is this…? You're kidding me, right? …Right? …WHY THE HELL ARE WE AT A STRIP CLUB?" Watanuki screamed, his face going red with anger and embarrassment. This just wasn't possible. Doumeki had taken him to a strip club: bright lights, scantily clad (cat) women—everything. "What, what, WHAT?"

"The bartender told me the cat ear maker visited here often," Doumeki answered nonchalantly, as if he wasn't standing in front of a literal porn building. "Let's go."

"WAIT! W-We don't have to go inside! We, uh, can wait outside! Yeah! So when he comes out, we can talk to him then!" Watanuki begged. "How are we going to get in, anyways? We're underage! Yeah! So ha!"

Doumeki gave him a look, flicking his gaze down the length of his body quickly.

"What're you—Oh no. No, no, NO! I am NOT—STOP MANHANDLING ME! I DON'T WANT TO GO IN! _NOOOOO_!"

And Watanuki was very man-handled by Doumeki into the porn building.

_A/N: And this one is half as long as my previous chapters. I just wanted to end on this note, so….There we go. Porn buildings. Ha. I wonder what Doumeki is going to do to get them inside, hm? Well, _I_ don't wonder, but whatever. So, see you next time! Ciao._

_PS: I've just realized that I'm making these two go to places the ear maker frequents. Next it'll be a restaurant. Then a bathroom. Then a bathhouse. WHAT NEXT? Just kidding. You'll see what I'm going to do. Again—CIAO._


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER V

"Well, I guess we'll have to do with him," a voice sighed. This week had been hard. A lot of their workers just up and quit, so any new helpers were treated like treasure. At least the boy was pretty.

"Alright. Is it okay if he starts now?" the teen had the gall to ask.

"Yes, yes, it's fine. I'll show you to a dressing room. He'll begin in an hour."

As soon as the two were showed the dressing room and the door shut behind them, Watanuki whirled around in a rage.

"I can_not_ believe you just did that, you barbaric—you-you…YOU! I am NOT GOING TO DANCE IN A STRIP CLUB! I REFUSE!" he shouted, arms forming an X as if to say 'no! Wrong answer! Good luck next time!'.

"We need to find the ear maker. If you dance, we'll find him," Doumeki explained nonchalantly, sitting down in a rather plump chair, completely ignoring Watanuki's inhuman scream (Doumeki would like to comment that it was a little difficult ignoring Watanuki then because his scream registered about a 9½ on the newly enhanced scream scale. "_What _scream scale?" Doumeki would like to remain silent).

"Now Doumeki," Watanuki explained calmly, an eerie angry aura surrounding him, "I'd like to say this once, and I hope you understand. I WILL NOT DANCE IN A STRIP CLU—WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COSTUME IS THAT? _I'M NOT A WOMAN!_"

It was a—(Watanuki is interrupting this story. He would like to say to the readers that they are dirty, dirty perverts for wanting to know what that barbaric Neanderthal made him wear [and yes, Doumeki made him wear it, because he would have undressed him himself if Watanuki hadn't run across the room with the craziest look on his face]. So no, Watanuki is omitting this entire section of the story. Yuuko would like to say [secretly, of course, so Watanuki can't hear] that the readers can read what happened in a super-secret chapter made just for those die-hard yaoi fans out there. So enjoy, and look for Chapter Vb!).

_A/N: Sorry this one's short too. I wanted it to make better sense for the peeps who wanted to read 5b, so yeah. If you do not want to read a RATED M chapter with YAOI in 5b, IMMEDIATELY SKIP TO CHAPTER VI (6)! Thank you. See you next time! Ciao._


End file.
